Epilepsy Lifestyle Videos

Life Update

I’ve had a crap month. Simply put. I’ve had side effects of seizures, gained a lot of weight, slept for what feels like forever, struggled with a sleeping pattern because of the latter, battled with migraines and sickness and currently have difficulty to stop comfort eating. The weeks that my partner isn’t home, I’ve been sat in my pyjamas on my days off from work with no energy to even brush my hair or do the daily antics that keep me busy and happy. I haven’t been myself. My newly diagnosed mental health condition has massively got in the way. And it sucks. I’m not ready to open up about depression and anxiety, like I do with epilepsy. But I do believe it’s important to speak out about mental health. Because just like my epilepsy, it’s invisible.

Today’s post I suppose is a life update. It’s important for me to write this post today as a reminder that everyone is fighting their own battle, even if it’s not posted across the internet. I’ve been inactive from social media and from creating my YouTube videos due to my new diagnosis and the increased medication. I’ve had emails after emails asking for advice, thanking me for videos and asking for the next one. How could I possibly create a positive upbeat video for you when I’m so low? I’d be lying to you, and that’s not fair.

I created Upon A Sunshine to be a positive platform for those both new and old to the world of epilepsy – a platform of support I wanted for myself when I was seeking for advice five years ago. Reading my emails today I’ve realised just how important it is to make sure I keep myself healthy and happy. Although I’m fighting a brand new battle I’m unfamiliar with, I know I’m not alone. It’s time to take my own advice I give to others, and believe in myself.

Sorry to those who have felt ignored, those tweets I never got round to replying to, those videos I was so eager to make and never uploaded. Unfortunately life got in the way and I didn’t know how to take control. It’s time to stand up and start fighting again. After I have focused on my health, my diet – because I need to lose the crazy pounds I’ve gained from comfort binge eating – exercise and sleep, Upon A Sunshine will return even sunnier than before!

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This post feels so therapeutic to write, however scary it is to share to the world, but I hope it gives you the motivation to know you can fight your battles too. No matter how many little steps it takes, you’ll be surprised just how far you’ve come when you look back in a year’s time. So a reminder to my future self: you’ve got this!

I’d like to take my hats off to each and every one of you that is battling with mental health. I never realised just how difficult it is until I was standing in the same shoes as you. I have so much I want to talk about, but one step at a time! Thank you to everyone who continues to support the work I do, you’re amazing. Make sure you subscribe to my channel louiseglover3 and get ready for a new chapter! I’m excited to share it with you. In the mean time, you’ll find me tweeting away on Twitter @louiseglover3

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5 Comments

  • Reply John 20th November 2016 at 6:16 pm

    you need to find your own patronus and use it to banish the darkness or see as a dementor I found it helped and read the 3rd Harry Potter book or watch the film

  • Reply Rebecka 20th November 2016 at 9:13 pm

    Hi! Really good post! I am also suffering from anxiety and such, even though I haven´t been diagnosed with menthal health problem, mainly because I haven´t had the energy to seek help. But I feel, like epilepsy which I also have, that people don´t take it seriously when certain problems appear. Being tired and sad and stressed it part of everyday life. And also gained A LOT of weight, and am currently trying to lose a lot, and it takes such a time! But we can do it!

  • Reply Rosaline 22nd November 2016 at 3:04 am

    Hi Louise,

    Looks like it’s not just me who have a rough November. You have a friend here who’s struggling through the same condition and I know how exhausting it can be. Like, really. It’s hard to keep up a positive mind when all the negative thoughts just come surging in. And in the end, you just surrender and drown in the sorrow–and you can not explain it to others. Unlike epilepsy, I find it even harder to explain to my friends and family why I suddenly break down and cry when I was obviously okay a moment ago. Not only I don’t know what exactly to tell them, the very prospect of sharing seem to be unrealistically scary.

    When it happen to me, I usually find a quiet place and just surrender to the ‘pressure’. I stop to fight, because why fighting when it’s futile? It’ll pass by anyway and when it come back, I’ll just deal it the way I use to.

    But here you are, refuse to be defeated. You even said you’ll come back even sunnier! God, just how strong can someone be?

    Reading this give me power to fight back. I know I shouldn’t have just surrender and now I have a comrade, it’s all the more reason for me to get stronger, right? Let’s fight together and show the world, We Got This!

    Keep fighting! xx

  • Reply Kathryn Patton 11th December 2016 at 11:03 am

    I’m glad you are okay.
    Depression and Epilepsy seem to be linked. I get very depressed at times but because I take Epilim which luckily is a mood stabiliser too, I can 75% dig myself out. My problem is that I dig myself out and then sink back in just as quick. I get so angry that people can’t see how I feel and I shut myself off. Work, family, walks, and hugs from my dog help but then I’m on my own again. When I’m on my own I sleep because I’m tired and if I’m honest it means I don’t have to think about the things depressing me.

    Comfort eating plagues me and it plagues my husband too. Husband wants me to batch cook and put it into portion sizes from January onwards. He’s also going to stop taking his wallet to work so he can’t do sneaky McDonalds. I’m so glad because it means he will be helping me to control my comfort eating too.

    Have a great Christmas and don’t binge too much!

  • Reply Kathryn Patton 11th December 2016 at 11:08 am

    Omg! Just read you have tonsillitis! Hope you get over that soon!

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