I’ve had a crap month. Simply put. I’ve had side effects of seizures, gained a lot of weight, slept for what feels like forever, struggled with a sleeping pattern because of the latter, battled with migraines and sickness and currently have difficulty to stop comfort eating. The weeks that my partner isn’t home, I’ve been sat in my pyjamas on my days off from work with no energy to even brush my hair or do the daily antics that keep me busy and happy. I haven’t been myself. My newly diagnosed mental health condition has massively got in the way. And it sucks. I’m not ready to open up about depression and anxiety, like I do with epilepsy. But I do believe it’s important to speak out about mental health. Because just like my epilepsy, it’s invisible.
Today’s post I suppose is a life update. It’s important for me to write this post today as a reminder that everyone is fighting their own battle, even if it’s not posted across the internet. I’ve been inactive from social media and from creating my YouTube videos due to my new diagnosis and the increased medication. I’ve had emails after emails asking for advice, thanking me for videos and asking for the next one. How could I possibly create a positive upbeat video for you when I’m so low? I’d be lying to you, and that’s not fair.
I created Upon A Sunshine to be a positive platform for those both new and old to the world of epilepsy – a platform of support I wanted for myself when I was seeking for advice five years ago. Reading my emails today I’ve realised just how important it is to make sure I keep myself healthy and happy. Although I’m fighting a brand new battle I’m unfamiliar with, I know I’m not alone. It’s time to take my own advice I give to others, and believe in myself.
Sorry to those who have felt ignored, those tweets I never got round to replying to, those videos I was so eager to make and never uploaded. Unfortunately life got in the way and I didn’t know how to take control. It’s time to stand up and start fighting again. After I have focused on my health, my diet – because I need to lose the crazy pounds I’ve gained from comfort binge eating – exercise and sleep, Upon A Sunshine will return even sunnier than before!
This post feels so therapeutic to write, however scary it is to share to the world, but I hope it gives you the motivation to know you can fight your battles too. No matter how many little steps it takes, you’ll be surprised just how far you’ve come when you look back in a year’s time. So a reminder to my future self: you’ve got this!
I’d like to take my hats off to each and every one of you that is battling with mental health. I never realised just how difficult it is until I was standing in the same shoes as you. I have so much I want to talk about, but one step at a time! Thank you to everyone who continues to support the work I do, you’re amazing. Make sure you subscribe to my channel louiseglover3 and get ready for a new chapter! I’m excited to share it with you. In the mean time, you’ll find me tweeting away on Twitter @louiseglover3